Righteousness. Holiness. Justification. I've been thinking about these words in the last few days. I recently learned that when God declares me righteous it is not because of anything I do. God says that there is no one who is righteous. He then declares that because of our faith in Christ and because of what Christ did for us at the cross that he can consider us righteous. The reason? Because when he looks at us, he sees the superimposed image of Christ on the cross on our behalf!
What I am now coming to see is that I often think I control how well I'm loved or viewed by God. As if somehow my obedience affects the amount of love he has for me or affects how righteous God considers that I am. But this is not true. God loves for me does not change. Does this give me freedom to sin because I know that I cannot be taken from him because of his grace? As Paul emphatically states, 'Of course not!'. However, now I can experience a different freedom. A freedom to be who God made me to be. Because now I am not tied down to the rules that I created. Because now I'm not living to improve myself, but rather just living in response to what God is doing in my heart. I am now obeying him out of love. Spending time with him out of love. Reaching out to others because of his love. None are motivated by my selfish desire to be more righteous or more holy in hopes that God will view me better.
This is where I want to live every day. But this is difficult, because the other perspective is so subtle and starts out so innocuously. I want to be like Christ. I want to more holy. (Shift happens). I start to read me Bible more but now my motive is because of me. I want to be more holy. I want to be more righteous. I want God to consider me better than I was. It really becomes a selfish desire and ultimately leads to a legalistic and wrong way of thinking. Soon, I am feeling guilty that I haven't spent time with him. Have you been there? Can you relate?
But, it doesn't have to be this way! This is exactly what God does not desire. He doesn't want a bunch of drones who feel they have to pray or read his Word. He created us to be in relationship with him. To spend time with him. To learn and share his heart. That is who he is. Would you want your son or daughter to do the same? To only spend time with you because they felt they must or they would be loved more by obeying you? Of course not! But why then do we suppose and expect that God would do this with us? Do we really think so poorly of God that we can't imagine that he can love us wholeheartedly, without reservation? God's love is not conditional. Our righteousness is not conditional. So, let's start living a life that reflects this belief. Let's spend time with our creator out of pure love. Let's laugh, and cry, and run, and be freed from the box that we've used to limit God. His love for us is so incredible. Let's experience it for the first time!
Again the question is before us. Where are you? Take it as you want, however, the question begs to be answered and answered honestly. Truth is one of the weapons God gives us. It's true that it has two edges. And I feel that edge quite often when I am wielding it.
The answer to the question finds itself billowing around in the winds of change lately. For me and those of you who are comitted to our task. Answering that question for me has been the core of my warrior spirit. Instead of a selfless warrior fighting for the cause of God I find myself being a self serving mercenary who has alterior motives contrary to the will of our Champion. No, I am not saying that I work against him directly. I am just saying that I seem to take his battle orders and bend them to my own will. Interpreting his direct command into a form that benefits me and turning a deaf ear to the commands I can't bend by any other means.
I have three sins that I continually turn to in all times. In fact the attempt at turning away from these sins have cause me great pains in every attempt. These sins have caused me to warp or change the commands of the Father. Looking for excuses to continue them. Looking for justification in their existance. But they are all lies. Masturbation, Overeating, Addiction to Chew. These are the crutches I have built to help me limp through life. I built them instead of turning to the truth. I built them because my nature as man to be unholy. I built them because the Enemy told me to. I built them and they are lies.. but they have become the fabric on how I deal with life. Sad.
Where am I? I can tell you this. I can tell you that God is showing me how I can turn away from masturbation. Oh, It's not easy. But it's not impossible now. I no longer see them as crutches. I no longer see them as essential to my walk through life. I no longer focus on my handicap and how it brings me down. I can turn away from them now. Why? It's not that I have focused on the sins, but because I focused on my relationship with God. But specificaly it is because I took my own selfish, and self serving nature out from blocking the Light that God was shining on me. I am not the only one who's heart was changed this week.